Warning: Dubious humour/innuendo and just plain… wrong!
Disclaimer: I don’t think Tolkien would want this bit back – And Kortirion is going to Hell, but as there isn’t a Hell in Middle-Earth, maybe she’ll get eaten by Balrogs!
Pippin had a recurring thought that wouldn’t go away. As the Fellowship travelled, his curiosity grew – just what did wizards wear under their robes? Eventually, he simply had to find out. That night, Aragorn and Boromir had gone to check the boundaries together; Pip had noticed it was something they did more frequently, and it took longer of late – must be the wild country, he thought.
Merry watched him creep to Gandalf’s side.
Pippin lifted the edge of Gandalf’s robe - then dropped it in horror.
“Well?” hissed Merry.
Pippin peeked again.
“Ooo look – it’s grew-some more!”