Kortirion (kortirion) wrote in tolkien_weekly,
Kortirion
kortirion
tolkien_weekly

Direction challenge: Against - 'Did you see the size of his...!': Kortirion

Title: “Did you see the size of his...!”
Author: Kortirion
Characters: OC Hobbits
Rating: G
Source: AU Middle-earth
Disclaimer: Tolkien imagined a whole world... Kortirion imagined some smut.


“Tain’t fair... they was huge!”

“It’s why he walks funny...”

“Do he?”

“Yeah, he sorta... sways... them bein’ so... bulbous!”

Conversation in the beer-tent veered from disgruntled to barely hidden envy, as the other contestants in the annual 'Mister Hobbit' competition commiserated over their losses – again!

“I got nothing against the Tooks or the Brandybuck’s... but... the size of their... Not natural. Not that hairy...”

“But them lasses do love ‘em big and furry like...”

“Don’t be disgusting!”

“I’m only saying... I touched one.”

“You didn’t!”

“I couldn’t resist – It were smooth and firm and... biggest feet I ever seen!”
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