Book/Source: The Hobbit
Disclaimer: I don’t own Middle-earth, however much I’d like to live there.
"But I am clearly alive! Do I look like a ghost to you, Odo? Give my sofa table back!"
"Confusticate you, Rory Brandybuck! As if Brandy Hall didn't have enough crocks already. What did you need mine for?"
"Official documents concerning my death? Let me see those."
"I know you have my spoons, Lobelia Sackville-Baggins. What do you mean I'm not really Bilbo Baggins? Who else would I possibly be?"
He tore the legal papers to bits. He had not survived spiders, goblins, and Smaug to fight such a ridiculous legal battle at home! Bilbo sighed, already missing Elrond's valley.